My Recent Response to The Roomate's Holiday Party

As much as I hate to be invited to things the invitor KNOWS I cannot attend, I do enjoy having the world see my witty responses. And since my sense of humor leaves "bizarre" at the airport and heads all the way south to "just plain ridiculous, have you seen a therapist?" I do so enjoy writing especially strange things for The Roommate, who truly appreciates them.

Thus, my response to her (fomerly OUR) annual Holiday Cocktail Fete, which this year includes a talent portion:
"Eat your food, Tina! I'll be there in spirit, and we can all say that if I were there, my talent would clearly be a birthday shimmy for Jesus."