Blind Items
Wowza. It's been a busy 24 hours. Well, the situation is actually much more akin to the Jessica & Nick breakup - it happened two weeks ago, but The Roni was the last one to find out. So here it is for you, what is probably several weeks worth of belated Blind Items:
It appears that something is in the air...or that potion The Roni bought from the blind lady in Kiln, MS and dropped in the water supply is finally working, but either way, couples are breaking up like Ike and Tina launched a national campaign for singledom.
A certain 3L item who The Roni nominated for homecoming King and Queen parted ways recently. After crying all night and eating two pints of Ben & Jerry's, The Roni can finally report this item.
One well-known mixed-year couple also called it quits recently. Apparently she has signed on to play Jessica in the new Nick & Jessica Biopic and he's bound to finish out his Char-vegas days in obscurity in UG dormrooms.
Violets to The Roni's Fashion Inspiration for also surviving a rough split. The Roni knows that things look sad now, but when you can finally see past his ugly antics towards the end, you'll be able to see that many bountiful bottoms await you in the land of Singledom, where it's always a balmy 70 degrees and the tshirts are always stretched just so across the pecs...
The Roni has also experienced a sad break up of her own. She was forced to end things with Vince Vaughn when he stopped returning her calls. She hopes he and that hideous wench Jennifer are very unhappy together, Holywood style.
In other news, The Panty Posse has been experiencing the joys of being romanced, of late!
First and foremost, the darling of all of our hearts, The Apple of Our Eye (Apple) is beating back the requests from would-be suitors! And you be damned tooting that's how it should be. After suffering a rocky blow when she saw an old flame around town with Another Girl (and that's the nicest euphamism The Roni can come up with), Apple deserves a good pick me up! The Roni has her money on her favorite horse, Lil' Darlin', but she knows Apple will choose wisely...
Regina George has also been busy breaking the hearts of men wide open in her bare hands. After heavy email flirtation, Your Shirt Says "Giblets" (Giblets) finally took her out for a fabulous evening of dinner and conversation. Sure he asked her "why she's still single" (because that's an easy question for every girl to answer), sure she asked him why "he was so awkward," and sure she attacked him in the front seat of his car, but The Roni still sees "love" written across the butt of her pants, again Lisa Turtle style.
The Sorority Sister has almost settled down into a life of monogomy with The Preacher. It seems that a man who can bake, likes Nicholas Sparks movies and works for the mafia is just what The Sorority Sister was looking for. Right on Sister.
On the "You want to date me, but really, I'm indifferent" front, we have:
GWM bringing up the front of the train. Apparently love is blind, just not a blind date.
GWM is closely followed by Regina, who is still trying to figure out why he called to apologize for "being so awkward." (The Roni tried to explain that boys tend to do that when you call them out to their face, but it's falled on deaf ears.)
And finally, bringing up the Caboose of our train of indifference (how appropriate) is MMCP upon whom The Roni's feminine wiles are lost. But then again, when your feminine wiles consist of asking him to "go out for wings, or something fried" repeatedly and finishing the unfinished portion of his nachos, generally you shouldn't expect much. Don't worry, The Roni doesn't.
And one final blind item:
Which bloggette, in discussing her favorite pair of boots that need knocking, said "I want to sweep in and corrupt his fecal mind! Oh, I mean fecund."
Happy Blinding,
The Roni
It appears that something is in the air...or that potion The Roni bought from the blind lady in Kiln, MS and dropped in the water supply is finally working, but either way, couples are breaking up like Ike and Tina launched a national campaign for singledom.
A certain 3L item who The Roni nominated for homecoming King and Queen parted ways recently. After crying all night and eating two pints of Ben & Jerry's, The Roni can finally report this item.
One well-known mixed-year couple also called it quits recently. Apparently she has signed on to play Jessica in the new Nick & Jessica Biopic and he's bound to finish out his Char-vegas days in obscurity in UG dormrooms.
Violets to The Roni's Fashion Inspiration for also surviving a rough split. The Roni knows that things look sad now, but when you can finally see past his ugly antics towards the end, you'll be able to see that many bountiful bottoms await you in the land of Singledom, where it's always a balmy 70 degrees and the tshirts are always stretched just so across the pecs...
The Roni has also experienced a sad break up of her own. She was forced to end things with Vince Vaughn when he stopped returning her calls. She hopes he and that hideous wench Jennifer are very unhappy together, Holywood style.
In other news, The Panty Posse has been experiencing the joys of being romanced, of late!
First and foremost, the darling of all of our hearts, The Apple of Our Eye (Apple) is beating back the requests from would-be suitors! And you be damned tooting that's how it should be. After suffering a rocky blow when she saw an old flame around town with Another Girl (and that's the nicest euphamism The Roni can come up with), Apple deserves a good pick me up! The Roni has her money on her favorite horse, Lil' Darlin', but she knows Apple will choose wisely...
Regina George has also been busy breaking the hearts of men wide open in her bare hands. After heavy email flirtation, Your Shirt Says "Giblets" (Giblets) finally took her out for a fabulous evening of dinner and conversation. Sure he asked her "why she's still single" (because that's an easy question for every girl to answer), sure she asked him why "he was so awkward," and sure she attacked him in the front seat of his car, but The Roni still sees "love" written across the butt of her pants, again Lisa Turtle style.
The Sorority Sister has almost settled down into a life of monogomy with The Preacher. It seems that a man who can bake, likes Nicholas Sparks movies and works for the mafia is just what The Sorority Sister was looking for. Right on Sister.
On the "You want to date me, but really, I'm indifferent" front, we have:
GWM bringing up the front of the train. Apparently love is blind, just not a blind date.
GWM is closely followed by Regina, who is still trying to figure out why he called to apologize for "being so awkward." (The Roni tried to explain that boys tend to do that when you call them out to their face, but it's falled on deaf ears.)
And finally, bringing up the Caboose of our train of indifference (how appropriate) is MMCP upon whom The Roni's feminine wiles are lost. But then again, when your feminine wiles consist of asking him to "go out for wings, or something fried" repeatedly and finishing the unfinished portion of his nachos, generally you shouldn't expect much. Don't worry, The Roni doesn't.
And one final blind item:
Which bloggette, in discussing her favorite pair of boots that need knocking, said "I want to sweep in and corrupt his fecal mind! Oh, I mean fecund."
Happy Blinding,
The Roni
posted by The Roni at 9:29 PM
2 Comments:
I hear there were quite a lot of lusty "man-that-was-fun-but-now-let's-hurry-back-to-Ivy-Gardens"s after a snowball fight that several 1Ls organized the other night.
Can anyone confirm?
Yes, AC, you can confirm your 1L Snowball fight. Though I don't know if I would exactly call it "lusty," but then again, The Roni does love men at play...
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