More Things That Rock
[Initial Thing That Rocks removed due to sensitive nature of the topic and fear of adverse repercussions. Anyone interested in a story of The Roni's own humiliation can email her for the exerpted portion of this post. Needless to say, it rocked.]
What else rocks? The Bunny ROCKS. Why? Who else would, upon hearing something she found marginally offensive (presumably a dangling participle - nothing's more obnoxious), immidiately throw down and start shit right there on the street. Sure she broke her nose, got two black eyes and may or may not have a contract out on her life in several countries, including Nicaragua, but you don't even want to see the other guy. Unsavory. So you go, Bunny, for being the meanest, toughest, most pugilistic of The Panty Posse. All the ladies can breathe a sigh of relief knowing you have our backs. And most of the dudes can too, because let's face it, when was the last time any of them threw down? Grade school? Maybe. But I doubt it.
More things that rock? Spring time. You know what it makes me want to do? Take my pants off and dance in chocolate pudding. And no, that wasn't an overshare. That was merely a preview of what's to come when The Roni finally moves into The House That Love Built. The ladies in residence will be sponsoring the aforementioned chocolate pudding wrestling party in the fall to celebrate - mark your calendars.
And finally, what rocks the most, more than pudding and frosty margaritas and small furry animals with anger management problems? GEORGE MASON BASKETBALL!! That's right folks, The Roni is making a bold statement with that one, but who can deny it? Everyone likes a come from behind victory (please, spare me - I saw it, ok? I certainly don't need you to point out the dirty double entendres for me - pretty much got them covered on my own, thank you very much) but this one takes the cake. I was lucky enough to be COURTSIDE for the game on sunday, and let's just say that I needed several hits from the defibrillator to keep me from going into massive tachycardia.
I'll give you some highlights:
We'll start back a few weeks when a certain CBS announcer may or may not have said something to the effect that Mason did not deserve to get a bid to the big dance. Well, a big thank you very much to that announcer who shall remain nameless when the MCI center (oops, Verizon center) erupted in a "BILLY PACKER" chant at the end of the game. That was awesome.
Also awesome, but in an "oh my god, I can feel my own heart stopping" kind of way? When Tony Skinn missed his freaking foul shots towards the end of regulation time and thus failed to ice their win and thus opened the door for The Bane of My Existence (well, one of the many) to TIE THE FREAKING GAME AT THE BUZZER. I swear I saw Blue and started heading towards the Light when that happened. It was like a scene from Flatliners.
Awesomer than that? The minute Calhoun realized Mason had done it. The stunned, "bring me the cattle prod" look on his face was vraiment sans prix. Made the whole thing that much more sweet. He can take his "we're basically playing a road game," "don't have a full day off" griping and shove it up his Boston-accent-spewing pie hole.
And finally, the best of all moments? Seeing Pappa Roni on stage with the team in a Championship hat and shirt.
So there you have it, from me to you, a few things that rock. I hope you enjoyed our time together. I know I have.
What else rocks? The Bunny ROCKS. Why? Who else would, upon hearing something she found marginally offensive (presumably a dangling participle - nothing's more obnoxious), immidiately throw down and start shit right there on the street. Sure she broke her nose, got two black eyes and may or may not have a contract out on her life in several countries, including Nicaragua, but you don't even want to see the other guy. Unsavory. So you go, Bunny, for being the meanest, toughest, most pugilistic of The Panty Posse. All the ladies can breathe a sigh of relief knowing you have our backs. And most of the dudes can too, because let's face it, when was the last time any of them threw down? Grade school? Maybe. But I doubt it.
More things that rock? Spring time. You know what it makes me want to do? Take my pants off and dance in chocolate pudding. And no, that wasn't an overshare. That was merely a preview of what's to come when The Roni finally moves into The House That Love Built. The ladies in residence will be sponsoring the aforementioned chocolate pudding wrestling party in the fall to celebrate - mark your calendars.
And finally, what rocks the most, more than pudding and frosty margaritas and small furry animals with anger management problems? GEORGE MASON BASKETBALL!! That's right folks, The Roni is making a bold statement with that one, but who can deny it? Everyone likes a come from behind victory (please, spare me - I saw it, ok? I certainly don't need you to point out the dirty double entendres for me - pretty much got them covered on my own, thank you very much) but this one takes the cake. I was lucky enough to be COURTSIDE for the game on sunday, and let's just say that I needed several hits from the defibrillator to keep me from going into massive tachycardia.
I'll give you some highlights:
We'll start back a few weeks when a certain CBS announcer may or may not have said something to the effect that Mason did not deserve to get a bid to the big dance. Well, a big thank you very much to that announcer who shall remain nameless when the MCI center (oops, Verizon center) erupted in a "BILLY PACKER" chant at the end of the game. That was awesome.
Also awesome, but in an "oh my god, I can feel my own heart stopping" kind of way? When Tony Skinn missed his freaking foul shots towards the end of regulation time and thus failed to ice their win and thus opened the door for The Bane of My Existence (well, one of the many) to TIE THE FREAKING GAME AT THE BUZZER. I swear I saw Blue and started heading towards the Light when that happened. It was like a scene from Flatliners.
Awesomer than that? The minute Calhoun realized Mason had done it. The stunned, "bring me the cattle prod" look on his face was vraiment sans prix. Made the whole thing that much more sweet. He can take his "we're basically playing a road game," "don't have a full day off" griping and shove it up his Boston-accent-spewing pie hole.
And finally, the best of all moments? Seeing Pappa Roni on stage with the team in a Championship hat and shirt.
So there you have it, from me to you, a few things that rock. I hope you enjoyed our time together. I know I have.
posted by The Roni at 12:36 PM
5 Comments:
you know what also rocks...this blog, great way to start off class this monday with a brand new awesome post to read... ps, i'm so jealous you were at the game, sounds like an awesome weekend
Wow. The Roni just teared up a little. I don't know who you are, I don't know what you look like, I don't know your IQ or the current account balance in your IRA, but I love you.
Y'all don't even want to see the other guy. As I've been told several times, this gives me major street cred.
On a completely unrelated note, just so you all know, it is not a good idea to let a drunk person try to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder (although you might think it's a great idea when you are also slightly under the influence), especially when you are in a parking lot with hard, hard concrete underneath you. Or so I've heard.
i heard all the cool kids lately are getting injured while drunk
things that rock must apparently all come to an end with gmu losing yesterday but you know what rocks now, this weather this week and admitted students... this week/weekend should be awesome
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