A comparison

I was discussing matters of extreme importance with a friend the other night. We were, obviously, talking about asses. My friend mentioned The Sorority Sister and that he thought she had, and I quote, "An ass you could bounce a quarter off of." This prompted an interesting discussion between me and The Sorority Sister afterwards.
The interesting comparison is that The Sister found this to be moderately offensive at first. I, of course, explained that it was actually the highest order of compliments. It meant that her ass was "tight" and not "flabby," like some people's. It was not an ass where you could "bounce a quarter and lose it," much like someone else's ass.
This made me ponder an interesting difference in the great world order, a difference I had not really contemplated before. Is there, in fact, a cameraderie between girls with humongous assess that look like two sea lions mating and girls with asses so flat you could roll a ball down there back and it would never hit butt? Are we both equally sensitive to comments about our asses? Are we confreres in that they, too, think the worst when someone looks straight at the behind?
If that's the case, then I truly feel sorry for them. For while we of the preponderous posteriors can eventually grow to love our rump shakers, and even see them as the source of all our powers, as The Roni has learned to do, (sadly, the ass to powers ratio is not quite what she'd hope for, but...), them of the diminutive derriers can share in none of the fun!
And so to you, my erstwhile enemies, I say - apologies for all the negative karma my ass has been radiating in your general direction. I feel your pain, and if you would like to borrow some of my ass, you are more than welcome to it...